THE ANTI-ALLITERATION ALLIANCE
The Animal Anti-Alliteration Alliance,
Abhors accents like AARDvark on syllable one,
As in anteater, antelope, ant, arctic hare,
And bards with their bumpity-bumpity ballads
Of beasts such as buffalo, beaver, and bear.
Cougar, coyote, crocodile, camel
Also can cause them cacophony craze.
Donkey, dodo, dolphin, dormouse, and dingo
Are detestable dactyls that darken their days.
Eagle and elephant, earwig and emu,
Fill them with fright and frazzle their fur
Flounder and ferret feel fits of fever,
Great Dane, greyhound, and grizzly go grrrr.
How could a hamster, hedgehog, or hyena
Hear so much harping without having hives?
Iterations of initial alliterative impulse
Impel ibis and iguana to beat up their wives.
It jars jack rabbits and Japanese beetles,
Jays, jaguars, jackals, and jellyfish too.
Kiwi, koala, and kudu can't stand it,
Nor lemurs, leopards, or lions. Could you?
A lion alone is lilting and lovely,
But lined up with lizard and llama and lynx,
Or moose, mongoose, monkey,
Mayfly, mouse, or mandrill... frankly, it stinks.
A Newfoundland, nurse shark, numbat,
Or nightingale... even a narwhal or nice little newt
Might put up with okapi, oyster, and owl,
Or otter and octopus... but he won't think it's cute.
The impossible pulses of poodle, panther, and puma,
Peacock, porcupine, pelican, puffin and prawn,
Pike, pug, and puffer fish, possum, and parrot,
Piranha, and pointer... prance on much too long!
But a quail crouching quietly there in his covey
Would never be sounded as "quaily-quail-quail."
The only Q animal can't be alliteratively listed
With other Q animals. Try it. You'll fail.
However, rabbit, raccoon, reindeer, and rhinoceros
Rumble till the reverberation quite hits you..
Like squid, squirrel, sponge, scorpion, sheep,
Slug, or snake... or salamander, and shih tzu.
Snapping turtle shouldn't sit beside sting ray or swan,
And I can't take a tiger tied to termite or tetra,
Tapir, tortoise, turkey, titmouse, or toad,
Toucan, or tree frog... etcetra.
Even YOU sometimes ululate like a U or a ewe
Or a violent, vomitous vulture. It's true.
Listings with wallaby, walrus, wart hog, and wasp
Run to wombat, welsh corgi... till you just wanna clip it.
But no... there's still wolf, wildebeest, weasel,
Wolverine, woodpecker, and whippet.
X is a breather, and Y is just yak,
But there's zebra and zonkey and zorse.
Anyone alliterating alphabetical animals
Is an ass. Really! What could be worse?!
antelope, basset, bass,
assonance also makes
you an ass. Cat, bat, rat.
Don't edit. Just shred it.