REINCE PRIEBUS

A what?   A rinse, a rice?   A what?
Here, write it on this pad.
“Reince Priebus?” There’s no such thing.
You’re either drunk or mad.
Has anybody heard of this?
Yes, I see your hand, Sir.
Great. Ask a foolish question...
Everybody has an answer.

“It’s that gadget used for peeling
You buy at the Kitchen Store.
You use it once and then forget it.
Now it’s way back in the drawer.
But when your recipe for Lemon Cake
Needs a cup of lemon zest,
Search for that reince priebus.
It peels your lemons best.”

“No, no, Priebus is a Scottish beer.
The Highlanders adore it.
In Edinburgh their eyes light up
When pretty barmaids pour it.
When you get to Scotland,
Ask the barmaid for a Reince.
It’s a kind of Scottish beer mug.
It holds about two pints.”

“No, it’s a microscopic termite
That invades your basement wall.
It eats the studs and sheet rock.
It’s the worst termite of all!
If you see a really nasty mold
Like squishy, black amoebas,
Call the Orkin Man at once.
Your house has got Reince Priebus!”

“No, it’s an undergarment women wear
To boost decolletage.
It’s thought to win attention
And increase their male omage.
No starlets, no Trump women,
No celebrities or divas
Would go out on the town without
Strapping on Reince Priebus.”

“Or could it be that wide-eyed guy
Who heads the RNC?
A deer caught in the headlights,
He’s as lost as he can be.
Something ran him over;
He looks like Forest Gump.
He could be a Reince Priebus
Run over by a Trump.”