His costumes were almost psychedelic,
And his candelabra will BE A RELIC.
What should Jay Leno’s epitaph be?
He suggested, TERMINAL DEAD TV.
Letterman has his gay Broadway.
Come west with me! ENJOY L.A.
His “Wasteland” poem was a real snooze,
And he went to live where TOILETS are loos.
He drank as fast as an Irishman can,
And died in New York, a HASTY OLD MAN.
I’m The Bard, your greatest story teller,
And also... I AM A WEAKISH SPELLER.
She burned her candle at both ends.
Some question her sexual sanity.
“Nonsense!” say her fans. “It’s just
SMALL INDECENT VANITY.”
At the opera’s annual gala,
She confessed “I MAR LA SCALA.”
What finally brought him to his knees?
Meth, crack, and other LIVELY SPREES.
Her screechy voice gave Alaskans a pain,
Like A SHARP NAIL driven into your brain.
He brought “Shock and Awe!” to Arab sands;
He was the greatest MUDDLER OF LANDS.
WIMPY TALENT aside, he still hopes to be
On the next ticket for the GOP.
It’s 1936, Eleanor, what do you think?
“VOTE FOR LANDON ERE ALL SINK.”
As D-Day commander, he did take action,
And HE DID VIEW THE WAR DOINGS with satisfaction.
So, you’re going to play Margaret Thatcher. Why?
“No comment,” was her MEREST REPLY.
Why, in Egypt, have you no fans, sir?
AN AMOK HUBRIS must be the answer.
She gave the Argentine generals fits,
But she was THAT GREAT CHARMER to the Brits.
Sexting your member may “offend.”
It’s a FATTER VERB than that, my friend.
No one will hit .400 again... ever.
An ILL-TIMED SAW. Never say never.
On women’s rights he lived in the past,
And at Walmart he put a WOMAN LAST.
He only defrauded Jews by name,
Of money notorious, INBRED OF FAME.
Home runs be damned. Steroids are a curse.
BRANDY ROBS, but steroids are worse.
The richest man may give it all away
If LEGAL BITS don’t get in the way.
He loved playing losers. His films were absurd.
He was perfect as A LEWD LOONEY nerd.
A new mayor for Chicago has taken the helm.
We hope he presides over a HUMANE REALM.
News anchors must look good; that’s clear.
But this blond is A SINEWY DEAR.
He never had a very clear focus,
And over eight years HE GREW BOGUS.
Norma Jean Mortenson was her given name;
IN LORE, MY NORMA earned Hollywood fame.
His “Contract with America” was really it.
Then he became a WRENCHING GIT.
In “Friends” she beautified many scenes,
And she still looks very FINE IN TORN JEANS.
“As I Lay Dying” was not exactly a thriller.
The author agreed, “I’M AN AWFUL KILLER.”
In the American Revolution, George Washington
rowed his Continental Army across the Delaware River
taking the Hessian mercenaries of King George by
surprise at Trenton. Emanuel Leutze titled his well known
painting of the event WASHINGTON CROSSING THE DELAWARE.
In the eeriest anagram we’ve seen, this title can be transposed to read:
HE SAW HIS RAGGED CONTINENTALS ROW.
If you like these personality anagrams,
send me your full name and I will tell you yours.