Preparing For The Wurst
         (How Does the Piggy Go?)

What a poor forked creature man is!
It must be so demeaning
To fret away one’s life on Earth
Searching for a meaning?

Man doesn’t know his purpose,
But all we pigs know ours.
We find it in the facts of Life,
Not searching in the stars.

Heaven? Hell? Life everlasting?
A celestial three-ring circus!
A pig knows what he’s living for
And dies into his purpose.

I know what happens when I go;
I’m happy your meal has pork in it.
My life has value, and when it’s done,
I’m glad to stick a fork in it.

Glorious ribs, roasts, bacon,
Knuckles, bratwurst, Spam,
Chops, sausage, pepperoni,
And sweet-baked honey ham!

We’re as proud of these glories
As a piggy-wig can get;
We die into our meaning!
It’s our raison d’etre!

Pigs don’t muck about in misery
Praying for pie in the sky.
Will piggies go to Heaven?
Yeah! When piggies fly.

Things die! The evidence is clear;
There’s no mysterious destiny.
Why fear what’s unavoidable?
Say OINK! and face it willingly.

All things have some value,
Some use, good, merit, role,
Some worth, point, function, basis.
Some advantage, or some goal.

What’s yours? Have you any?
If you’re human, probably not.
You don’t even have what any
Piggy-wig has got.

Man can’t face his final place
Which is in the ground, of course.
A waste! While piggy’s destiny
May be... to be ground coarse

And mixed with powdered ginger
And some granulated clove
With allspice and some garlic
Laced carefully with love,

Then extruded through a lattice
With fine or coarse-ground spaces
Into a sub-mucosa tube
Of our own inguinal cases.

When this recipe for blutwurst
Calls for a pint of blut,
I give it free and joyfully.
Oink! Das blut ist gut!

It’s blutwurst! And it’s lovely!
Just throw it on the grill.
The pig may not enjoy it,
But some hungry fellow will.

If you have German sauerkraut
With fine mustard for your dinner,
To paraphrase a president,
“Ich bin ein... der wiener.”

This world is a slaughter house,
Always was... will be hereafter.
Your job amidst the slaughter,
Is to extrude the laughter.