Republican Riddle: Who is it?
His party screams, “Small government!”
“Freedom! No regulation!”
Small government, of course, is code
For corporate domination.
Who clamor most for “LIBERTY!”
Who wave their signs and chant it,
When given power, history shows,
Are least inclined to grant it,
As champions of French liberty
Saw no inherent error,
Till they found their revolution
Was followed by The Terror.
This “Liberty” is mere repugnance
To authority or rule.
Who knows no law or governance
Is just a lawless fool.
“Full of passionate intensity,”
Like survivalists huddled in the cold,
They’re simply anarchists. “Mere anarchy
Is loosed upon the world.” *
Our founding Fathers tried to balance
Freedom with Equality,
But his party won’t even talk of
The poor need jobs and living wages,
But it’s simpler to convict them
Of apathy and laziness...
Simpler to blame the victim.
Orthodoxies, fundamentalisms, conservatisms all
Are paternalistic, boys’ clubs. Can anything be wearier
Than this outworn view of women
As subordinate and inferior.
His bombast grabs the headlines.
He’ll make America TERRIFIC,
But don’t ask him how he’ll do it.
He will not be specific.
He’s his own best adviser;
Needs no Secretary of State.
He’s seriously considering
Himself for Running Mate.
He loves the “poorly educated”
Who flock to their own kind
Making him “the giant of pygmies,
The one-eyed monarch of the blind.” **
He’ll bring jobs back from China,
And we’ll all be happy then,
But truthfully we’ll never see
Those jobs back here again.
Asian, slave labor too will fall
To robots and machines.
We ought to be debating
What to do with human beings.
His wife’s name is Melania,
And here’s the stunning news:
Beneath her clothes SHE’S NAKED...
According to Ted Cruz.
Cruz published naked photos.
Nasty rumors take a village,
So now our hero says Mrs. Cruz
Has beans worthy of spillage.
Heidi’s beans? What sort of beans?
We’ve seen Melania’s scenery.
Oh, please, please give us just
A peek at Heidi’s beanery!
On these arousing titbits,
Our voter interest lingers;
So, of course, we’re fascinated
By his tiny hands and fingers.
His campaign can’t get lower,
More disgraceful or obscene.
His tiny hands are also code;
It’s “The Donald” that they mean.
So now it’s “big or little” Donnie
We must specify somehow,
But clearly “THE Donald”
Means “little Donnie” now.
They wave the constitution
And praise its intellectualism,
And aren’t they a grand display
Of American “exceptionalism.”
If you’ve not guessed “Who is it?”
My hat is off to you!
You’ve no time for this trumpery;
You’ve better things to do!
• W.B. Yeats
** Sam Johnson