Sheeesh! No Capeesh!

To ken or not to ken
That is the quest, son.
A faulty perceiver’s
His own worst deceiver.
His story’s history.
Mine is a mystery.
I think I ken, I think I ken,
And then I ken’t.
I’m lost in a woods of
Oughtas and shoulds,
Missing the fun
Of did it and done.
I’m running with scissors
I’m spilling the salt
I’ve broken a mirror
It’s all my fault
The wrong tree
Is barking up me.
I’m lost and forsook
On a road not took.
Over the hill,
Under the weather,
Around the bend, and
Off my tether.
I’ve lost my shirt
I’m wearing a frown
My jig is up
My pants are down
I wince. I whine.
I wallow. I waffle.
I whimper and simper.
It’s awful!   It’s AWFUL.
In a pinch,
Out of bread,
Deep in debt,
Nearly dead.
Used, bruised,
Maybe contused, and
So confused.
I see I’m asea
In fathoms unfathomed.
Clear as crystal
I’m no pistol,
Not Superman,
Just Superficial.
No doubt about it,
I’m totally out of it,
An outrage of outage
And pointless poutage.
“Before you know it,”
Says the poet,
But everything’s
Before I know it.
Discombobulated!   Jeez!
Will someone
Bobulate me, please!
Do I know I know? No!
I more or less guess
And take it for Yes.
In a jam, I think,
For there I am.
A daily tally of folly?
Was college
For knowledge
Or school
For a fool?
Did faculties
Stunt my faculties?
I’m over a barrel
Without a laurel.
Present but blinded,
So absentminded.
I’ve tumors and tremors,
Not to mention,
A nasty polyp and
Hypertension.
Mixed and nixed,
Hexed and vexed,
Between and betwixt,
And so perplexed.
Hassle-hassled,
Razzle-dazzled,
Afraid, affrayed,_Addled and frazzled.
More than some
Have found me dumb.
I’m astounded
To be so dumbfounded.
Giuliani and Donny say
“Truth is not truth.”
So what good are tries?
With Kellyanne,
It’s alternative lies.
No jokes,
It’s a hoax,
A big witch hunt,
And it’s time to punt.
I’m grasping at straws
That slip through my claws
Like hopes in my sleep
Or grass through a sheep.
No cash in the bank,
No gas in the tank,
My rubber ducky
Turned turtle and sank.
Can the rich share it?
Can the poor spare it?
Can Polly parrot?
Can the bipolar bear it?
Holy Moses!
I can’t smell the roses.
Gnosis psychosis
Is my diagnosis.
No know-how nohow
To master disaster,
All in a rush,
I’m slowing down faster.
I’ve no comprehension.
I miss apprehension.
I hurt myself.
I trip and stumble.
I veer to the left.
I stutter and mumble.
Time for me to
Throw in the towel,
High cholesterol,
Nervous bowel.
I need a vacation
From altercation,
Disorders, messes,
Wrangles, and stresses.
And don’t mention tension,
Dementia prevention or
Reading or birthday or
Water retention.
None of it sticks,
None of it clicks,
Get in your last licks,
Cuz these are the tricks.
None of it’s fun.
Stick a fork in.   I’m done.
Jeez, Louise!
Carrots and peas!
Down on my knees!
Help me!    PLEASE!