That’s Tough

If you ordered a book
And they brought you a bomb,
Or strong drink
And they only brought tea.

If you went for a walk
And ran into a war,
Or were looking for love
And got me,

If you wanted to talk
But your tongue turned to chalk,
Or to dance
And you went to your knees,

Or you asked your wife
The meaning of life
And she gave you
A chunk of hard cheese,

If you went to the butcher
And he cut off your thumb,
And the candle-maker
Dripped wax on your nose,

Or you went to a fancy dress ball
With the Prince
And looked down
And you weren't wearing clothes,

If you reached for a tulip
And grabbed a mean wasp,
Or a rose
And were stung by a bee,

Or if this sounds too much like
Your life,
Maybe you should have settled
For me.