Tools

Scissors

Mallet
Two edge-shear
better  than one.
A tiny shopping
center.
   
Drill Wrench
Steady drilling
bores a bit.
or wench: a turn
for the worse.
   
Screwdrivers Lathe
and bikers too!          A thoe thtring.
   
Ladder Scythe
A “Shane” fanatic. A thoe meatherment.
   
Vice Grips Chain Saw
Virtue, not so
much.
Addicted to
woodcutting.
   
Rasp  Hatchet
Defiler            then count  it.
   
Broom Auger
Biker's ego trip. One born in August.  
         
   
Catheter Squeegee
Here comes  
johnny!
A heebie-jeebie
while snorkeling.
   
Snips Plunger
Ladies' book club. This job sucks!
   
Mop Hammer
What the child of a
single-sex marriage
calls his mom or pop.
Pounding home
the point.


   
Plumb Bob Machete
Horner's little
brother.
is bigger than
yourchete.
   
Syringe Hoe
Consort of Lady Inge. Santa on a bad day.
   
Clamp Roller
Muscle spasm
in a mollusk.

Gangbanger.


   
Adze   Putty Knife
or zubtracts. For killing yourself when
you miss a two-footer.
   
Crowbar Atomizer
Saloon for grandma. Wouldn't even lend
you a molecule.
   
Pulley            Compass
Half of a
Push-me-pull-you.
A donkey used for
hauling comp.
   
Tweezers L-Suffix Tools:
Those who sneeze
on Twitter.

Car Jack      
Jill's designated driver.
the chis         the shov
the fi             the sick   
the need       the stap                
the penc        the stenc
the scalp       the trow